A Christian’s thoughts on the Battle of the Same Gender Marriage

Warning:  This post is controversial.  I’ve been debating whether or not to post it for some time now, but I just have to take the stand.  You will either love me or condemn me for it, and that’s ok.  My God is the one I seek approval from.  All I ask is that if you choose to comment, BE KIND.  You do not have to agree with me, but any rude or disrespectful comments will be deleted.


My Facebook page has exploded lately with same-sex marriage talk.   It is seriously taking up over half of my news feed.  People are changing their profile pictures to show the world they are for it, or against it.

For           Against

So far, everyone that I’ve seen post as against it…is a Christian.

People, this breaks my heart.

Do I believe that homosexuality is a sin?  Yes, according to what I read in the Bible I do believe it is a sin.


There are 2 main points that so many of my Christian friends seem to be forgetting.

The first point is that we have ALL sinned.  Lying is a sin.  Anyone tell a lie this week?   Divorce is a sin.  Some of my best spiritual mentors and friends have a divorce in their past.  Getting drunk is a sin.  College, anyone?  Losing your temper and yelling at your husband or kids in anger is a sin.  Did that one hit home?  Having sex before marriage is a sin.  Many people quote the term “fornication” in the Bible and use it against people who live a homosexual lifestyle, but that word simply refers to sex before marriage – period.  Anyone guilty?  I know I am.

I’ll be open and honest here and tell you that I lived with my husband before we got married.  I admit, I wasn’t in the right place in my walk with the Lord at that time, or I would have made a different choice.   However, it’s in the past and I’ve asked God to forgive me for it – and He has!

I realize as Christians we are to take a stand against sin.  The problem I have is that it seems like so many of my Christian brothers and sisters are forgetting that this is more than a political issue.  These are real people, with real feelings being talked about.  These are people that God created and whom He loves dearly – like you and me.

Something to think about…Are any homosexual people choosing to stop their lifestyle because of these posts and this outrage against them done by Christians? Or, are we simply pushing people further away from Christ because we are acting like their sin is worse than our own? 

Think about this.  If you had been divorced, had sex before marriage, gotten drunk, or lost your temper, how would it make you feel to constantly see people posting about how awful you were?

Wouldn’t you rather see and hear about the grace of God?  How Jesus came to die and take the punishment for ALL our sins?

If you are a Christian and believe homosexuality is a sin, then don’t engage in it.  Pray for those that do.  But, please stop rallying against them like they are hurting your children.  Why don’t we see this much effort and rage being brought up in regards to prostitution, child abuse, children being used as sex slaves, getting drunk, pornography, burglary, stealing, or lying?  Let’s change our profile pictures to condemn those things.

Some people say that homosexuality is different because they are choosing to continue in their sin, rather than repent from it.  Again, I say let’s look at ourselves.  Are we holding grudges?  Holding unforgiveness in our hearts day after day?  Getting drunk every weekend?  Addicted to anything?

The Bible wants us to stand up against sin, but God also tells us to first look at our own lives.

The second point that I’m sad to say so many of my Christian brothers and sisters are forgetting is that Jesus told us to LOVE our neighbors.

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”  Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”  Matthew 22:36-40

Loving God and loving others are THE 2 most important things we can do.  Period.   Jesus is our model and He went to the homes of sinners to eat dinner and fellowship with them.  He didn’t shun them.


For the record,  I would like the government to stay out of this completely. It should be a personal choice, not the government’s choice.

I even saw a quote that said, “It is God, not man, who has the right to define the institution of marriage”.   The quote was being used against same-sex marriage, but I am sharing it because it is how I feel about the government defining marriage.

I don’t want the government telling me who to marry, so why would I want them to tell anyone else?  It has nothing to do with whether I think the issue is right or wrong, but that’s a slippery slope and I don’t think they need that much control.  Of course, I feel that way in regard to many issues.  I wouldn’t want it to be illegal to get divorced either, even though I have no plans to do so.

I also don’t agree with many of the arguments against same-sex marriage.

They can’t reproduce.   Neither can myself or my husband thanks to infertility.

People will end up choosing to marry their pets or children! Where will it stop?  Really? We are talking adults, people.  Consenting ADULTS.

Their marriage is unstable.  Or the sanctity of marriage will be destroyed. Really?  How many straight people do you know who have been divorced multiple times, or had marriages last less than a year?  How many great marriages do you see in Hollywood or on the TV shows we watch?  Honestly my friends, if the heterosexual Christian community had a better track record for marriages, I could get behind this.  But, even in the Christian community the divorce rate is around 50%.


Fighting against same-sex marriage is not winning anyone to Christ.  Inviting the couple over for dinner and spending time with them just might.  At the very least, it would show them that Christians love people rather than hate them.  You can love someone and still disagree with their lifestyle.

Jesus does.

9 comments to A Christian’s thoughts on the Battle of the Same Gender Marriage

  • Laura

    Great post! I think that you and I are twins! Except that you are able to write what you are thinking and feeling, and that is not one of my gifts. 🙂 I will admit that I didn’t vote when the time came in MN, (I have a good reason, but I won’t get into that here) and you won’t find me marching in gay pride parades, but I also believe that it is not the government’s place to make that choice. Like you said, that is a very slippery slope.

    I also agree that love is the answer!

  • CS

    Well said! Thank you for posting this. It is controversial, but one that needed to be said.

  • Jess

    Great job Stacy! Well said!

  • Zoe

    Once again Stacy, you have beautifully stated what a Christian’s response should be. Thank you for saying it so well.

  • You just said everything I have been thinking. How can we are Christians say that gay marriage should be against the law when a bunch of other sins that we have committed are not. All people want to do is to be able to marry who they want to marry. There is nothing wrong with supporting that. There is nothing un-Christian about it.

  • April

    I agree with what you’ve said but also have severe reservations against it. I don’t remember when California 1st started allowing ‘no fault’ divorces but my mother has told me that people rallied against it and fault against it like they are fighting against same sex marriage but ultimately no fault divorce was allowed in CA and then in all the states and its been a down high slide since then. I think that the majority of christians who fight against same sex marriage is because we see this is just one more thing being chipped away at. We fought against drinking (prohibition) and lost, we fought against divorce and lost, we fought against abortion and lost. Yes, we ALL sin and fall short of the glory of God and God forgives us and gives us grace..but we can’t keep staying in that sin..we must try to overcome it. Homosexuals do not try to overcome it..they want us to accept their lifestyle as normal and gaining same-sex marriage status is another way for them to achieve that goal. I do believe they will get their way..and then what will be next? You may think me crazy but there is an association called “Man-boy Love” (pedophilia) that is spreading widely in the UK and is gaining ground and they are using the same arguments that same sex marriage people are using. I believe that will be the next big fight.

  • Love this! Well said 🙂

  • I ran across this post while doing a Paleo search. Your articulated struggle and thought process about your response as a Christian to marriage equality mirrors my own. I have a gay family member, and we all grew up in Christian homes, so this issue is very close to me. Thank you for being brave many months ago to post about this and for shining the mirror back on members of our faith who, as broken people, continue to fall short of the glory of God…but not his grace!

Leave a Reply




You can use these HTML tags

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>