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Making Marriage Work Tip #9

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Did you think I forgot to finish my Top 10 Tips? Nope! I just went on a little vacation to see some friends, but I’m back!

Tip #9 – Share a common hobby with your spouse

You married this person because you love them, right? So, you should also like spending time with them!  Remember back in Tip #4, where I said that one of man’s greatest needs is his need for a life companion? This is it! He wants you to enjoy a hobby together.

It’s great for you to each have your own thing too.  I like scrapbooking, and Hubby likes shoot ‘em up games.  I like chick flicks and he likes war movies. 

But you have to find things you enjoy together and make a point to do them often.  Find a game for the Wii that you like together.  Train for a race if you like to run.  Learn a new sport together like SCUBA diving or golf.  If you enjoy the outdoors, go camping (it’s a great cheap family activity too!), skiing, geocaching or hiking.  If you don’t like the outdoors, try bowling, a cooking class, dancing, or shooting pool.  Find SOMETHING.  If you can’t agree on something right away, then you both put 5 ideas in a jar.  Each week, pull out an idea to try until you’ve tried them all, and then decide on one.  You might find that you like something you didn’t think you would.

If you have kids, then one of your common activities is parenting but that can’t be the only one.  The kids are important and more helpless the younger they are, but one day they will be out of the house and it is critical that you and your spouse have a relationship outside of the children, otherwise you will not even recognize the person sharing your empty nest.  I also believe it is important for your children to see you enjoying each other’s company.  One of the best gifts you can give your children is to love your spouse.  Your kids need to know that Mommy and Daddy are friends as well as husband & wife.  They need to see you laugh and play together. 

So have a night where you each do your own thing, but make sure you are also planning time each week for you to do something together.  You are going to spend the rest of your life with this person.  You want to know them, and enjoy them!

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