I know most people have already posted their goals for the year. So, I’m a couple weeks late sharing with you all, but here it is:
My goal for this year is ACCEPT and ENJOY my life and my circumstances.
I spent a lot of time last year wishing and hoping. Longing and aching. Surrendering.
First, Hubby and I surrendered our dream of moving to Florida or the Caribbean islands and running a SCUBA diving shop together. A dream we’ve had since we first got together. A dream we had to set aside when we clearly heard God calling us to join the Army. It doesn’t mean the dive shop will never happen, but we are looking at spending at least the next 13 years in the Army now, so it’s definitely on the back burner. WAY back.
We also had to surrender our baby. Not really OUR baby, but our foster son. For the last couple years, I have felt like God had given me a promise that we would have more kids. We absolutely LOVED having lots of kids here when we first had 2 foster girls, then a group of 3. It was chaos, sure, but it was amazing! So much love and laughter. A full dinner table. I really felt it in my heart and I was sure I had received it in the Word from the Lord that we were to open our home to more kids. I really thought we were going to have a boy. Since we can’t have any more ourselves that leaves adoption.
Then, once we received our foster baby and we were led to believe we’d get to adopt him, I thought that was the answer! I wanted to believe it was the answer. After we lost him, I was heartbroken. How could God put him in our lives and then take him away knowing how badly we want another child?
Through a series of events, I have come to realize that God’s plan for me during those 9 months was much bigger than adding a baby to our family.
So, this year, I have prayed a lot about my goals. I have some minor ones like,
* Run a 5K & a 10K (starting from not running at all). I’ll be working on the Couch-to-5K program that I started last year and then quit when I quit sleeping with a newborn around. As soon as we move, I’m starting it again!
* Work on reading the Bible in chronological order. I’m not trying to finish it in a year. If that happens, great, if not that’s ok too. I’m doing this in addition to my regular quiet time because I’m really interested in reading it the way it happened.
Overall, my goal is to ACCEPT and ENJOY our life. I don’t want to look at every baby, or family with 5 kids that I see and wish I had that. I want to just enjoy this time I have with our daughter and enjoy the blessings that come with having an only child for as long as I have one.
I’m only 36. I have plenty of time left to grow our family if that’s what God chooses for us. A couple things have helped this sink in for me. One is remembering the story of Abraham and Sarah. They were promised a son and had to wait. They thought they were too old and that it was impossible, but God can do anything.
The other thing that has helped me with this was meeting Kylee. She is a friend of a friend of mine and is the most amazing young lady! Check out her blog. No really, go read it. I wish I had been as mature at her young age. Her parents were foster parents, and have recently adopted 3 young children – while their own children are grown, with their youngest being a teenager.
Why do I think that just because God promised me something that I have to get it RIGHT NOW? I was so frustrated last year because I just KNEW that God had given me a promise of more kids, but then it wasn’t coming true.
Only, God never gave me a timeline. Maybe it’s not even supposed to happen for 2 or 3 or 10 years. I can choose to spend every year wishing for what I don’t have, or I can choose to accept the awesome blessings that he has already given me and enjoy them!
Or maybe, we are meant to be the “Middle Parents” – fostering kids, loving on them and giving them a home until their permanent one is available. I have had to change my heart to be open to that as well.
I adore my daughter and I truly love spending time with her. I don’t want to spend my energy wishing and hoping for something else when I should be cherishing this precious girl right in front of me and enjoying every single second that I am with her.
I also want to ACCEPT and ENJOY this new Army life we are heading into. Before we even cross the state lines, I am determined to make the best of every situation. I know there will be hard times, tough times, lonely times – but there will also be amazing adventures, funny stories, and new friends. I know that God will grow us through this time, teach us things, and use us for his glory. I can’t wait to see how it all turns out!